I've decided to come back to Norwich, because my life has skidded to a halt.
I wanted to do an MA course - in fact I applied to do it at the UEA before my mum had her 'orrible accident and before my Gma was ill, and broken, and ill. I decided to go to France and now I feel a little surplus to requirements and more often than not bored out of my head. I should write, but I don't feel very stimulated, quite the opposite. I've reapplied to do the Social Work course via a government funded programme which will pay me to do, so I won't have a huge financial burden. People say it's a thankless job, but I see it as a step closer in achieving my own goals - I will be DR.LENNY by the time I'm 35! hahaha! The thought of it, both scary and exciting, is what's driving me at the minute.
I'm worried that I might be being selfish and a total Charlie Uniform. I think my mum might go spare trying to cope with my insane Gma. I'm going mad too, so I need to leave. Is it bad that I will miss my dog more than anything?
I have considered taking him with me, but I know he would be more unhappy living in a town than he would here. Besides, he is a spoilt, needy ginger boy and wouldn't like being left along all day. Am I justifying myself yet? Why am I?
I'll put some loud music to drown out my conscience...
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2 comments:
It always feels selfish when we do something for the good of ourselves. Why is that? You have given time to help out your family and I'm sure they appreciate it but you can't live your life purely for others.\
You're not happy. You've tried making a life for yourself over there and its not working. For your own sanity you have to take the selfish route. You wouldn't be much good to your mum if you're being driven crazy by your life.
But then I'm biased. It'd be good to have you back.
Well, I just have an agonising TWO MONTH WAIT until I found out if I've got through the First Stages of getting on the course!
Two Months!!! Maybe I should apply to do the course at the UEA via UCAS as well.... Don't know if I could afford it though. Urgh! Money IS the root of all evil!
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